


Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!

by flxme



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Angst?, Cuddles, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Minor NSFW, Not Beta Read, Pizza, We Die Like Men, daddy (death stranding) - Freeform, gay disaster higgs, how does one tag?, like ive never posted here i seriously don't know how to tag, mentions of daddy, spoiler warning, spoilers?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:47:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29063055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flxme/pseuds/flxme
Summary: Defeated, Higgs spends hours alone in his bunker. With one man on his mind, there's only one thing he can do. It's up to Peter Englert to order some pizza, and trick Sam into entering his bunker.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. The God Particle

**Author's Note:**

> an au in which higgs isn't stuck on the beach
> 
> uhh enemies to lovers except it might be faster than normal. that's how us gays are lets be real
> 
> i've literally never wrote a day in my life but hey i'm gonna do this
> 
> you don't gotta like it anyways

The days seemed to be the hardest for him. alone, scattered pictures remind him of the man he worked so hard to defeat. He would've tore them down if it meant ridding himself of the embarrassing memory. Yet the images seemed to be the only thing getting him out of his cot in the morning. Sam fucking Bridges. There shouldn't be anything special about him, at least to Higgs. He was just another thorn in his spine. A rock stuck in his path. Plenty other metaphors for failure. 

The male ended up pacing around the bunker for quite some time. Would Sam even want to know if he’s alive? No. Sam wouldn’t care, wouldn’t like to know. Higgs eyes darted towards the monitors on his desk. Sam wouldn't care for Higgs Monaghan, but he’d love to hear from his favorite customer; Peter Englert! With that, he began the letter with the subject.

> **_A Final Request for Pizza._ **

Sounded fine so far. He almost smiled at how nonchalant he was sounding. He continued,

> _ My dear Mr. Sam Bridges, _
> 
> _ I write to you with tidings somewhat more weighty than those to which you may have grown accustomed. By the time this reaches you, I will have been condemned to the Beach, having been rendered powerless by you-know-who. But know that I will forever cherish the memory of each and every pizza you so kindly delivered to my doorstep. _

A lie he told so well. An idea set in mind as soon as the email was started. The final delivery, the final lie. He would tell Sam just who he was. It was perfect. Guilt will overcome the porter, he'd take the order, he'll deliver the pizza, and Higgs will be able to see the face of the man who dared take everything away from him. The thought of being close to the other sent a shiver down his spine. His fingers hovered over the keys for just one moment, thinking of something clever to write. Something that would get the porter to even have a reason to come,

> _ Alas, there is a singular blemish upon our relationship – a singular regret that weighs upon my soul. It concerns the one wish you so cruelly failed to grant me. I speak, of course, of my delivery from Lake Knot City to South. I will readily admit I am not one to forgive and forget – and this flaw compels me not to allow you to forget either. Consigning my package to the bottom of a tar lake instead of seeing it to its intended destination was an unconscionable act hardly befitting a professional porter. For shame. _
> 
> _ But let us not cry over spilled milk. If you would do me one final favor, I have faith I can find it in my heart to forgive you. You must know in yours what I am about to ask, yes? Pizza, pizza, pizza! _
> 
> _ This delivery denouement may prove a tad tricky even for an experienced professional, though. The delectable delight in question awaits you at the first prepper’s shelter, high atop a snow-capped peak, and must be transported intact thence to my front door. It certainly shan’t be easy, but I have the utmost faith in the Man Who Delivers Pizza. _
> 
> _ Furthermore, as an expression of goodwill, I have unlocked the entrance to my private quarters. You may peruse my secrets to your heart’s content. _
> 
> _ I have the honor to be your obedient servant, _
> 
> _ Higgs Monaghan. _

It took everything in him click send. What if Sam ignored the email? Did he even care for delivering the pizzas? Would he take the time out of his day just to visit Higgs? His mind was sent spiraling down negative thoughts. Though it shouldn't have been anything new. His life was filled with negativity and he welcomed it like a best friend. From his uncle, life with helping others, Fragile Express, even Amelie brought negative ideas into his head. It began to be something he found so pleasurable. 

Sliding the chair away from the desk, he began the wait. It wouldn't take long. After all, the deliverer was the legend himself. It took everything in his power not to think of Sam during it all. What would he say? What would he do? He needed to at least think of a way to greet the other. Giving Sam the option to enter the bunker would make him want to enter, right? That's how it worked. Curiosity should take over him. Higgs laughed to himself. The plan seemed too stupid to be something Sam would even think to fall for. 

hours seemed to have passed. higgs was bored out of his mind.  _ Perhaps this was a bad idea.  _ The thought rang through his mind like a bad obsession. Did he not click send? He swivels the chair back to the desk, leading him to check his emails. It was sent. Oh, twelve minutes ago. His sense of time must've completely left him. No way to tell the time when there's no windows. Higgs ended up laughing–  _ How fucking Hilarious of me to overreact twelve minutes! _ – If only he knew how to pity himself. His eyes wandered to the photos right in front of him. Red string dangled from each pin with no clear connection. He had to seem smart or like he had a plan with it all. Sticky notes with various messages that ranged from “ **_NO!!_ ** ” to “ **_FUCK YOU SAM!!_ ** ” From any rational standpoint, he'd admit to stalking Sam. He'd never actually admit to anything. Like how he knew the way Sam washes his hair  in the hot springs, his techniques of calming that thing he called a child– what was its name? Lou? Higgs could hardly remember– his laugh, his stupid Bridges hat, his–

Fucking hell, what gotten into him? He shook his head. Gotta get whatever these thoughts were to leave. This only led him down a rabbit hole he didn't know existed. Sam had become his reason for being. The only thing stopping him from ending it all. In the process, the god particle ended up stalking the porter. Knowing as much as possible of the guy. He could talk for hours just about Sam. Not that he'd ever want to talk about the bastard. They were enemies! Nothing but hatred between them! Or that's what he tried telling himself.

He laid on his stomach, facing towards the wall. He wouldn't be able to look at the porter with the acts he's previously committed. Not that he's had a change of heart, don't get him wrong he still is proud of his work, but Sam wasn't a fan. The sound of boots hitting stairs caught his attention. 

It was time for him to face his fears.


	2. How Walls Can Fall Unexpectedly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Higgs gets to see Sam. How long before his mind ends up ruining the situation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter! and an actual plan for future chapters.  
> if anythings a little weird at the end, i realized i genuinely dont know how to write comfort.

Crazy as it sounds, Sam almost didn't make the delivery. The email’s first paragraph confused him to no end. making the rest just absurd. The prepper acted as if they knew each other outside the small acts of delivering pizzas. That was until he saw the name signed at the bottom.

_Higgs Monaghan._

Was this real? The man who tried ending the damn world wanted pizza? Sam had tried delivering the one previously mentioned in the letter, he really did. But now a man who's stuck on some beach is wanting him to deliver to an empty bunker. The idea was almost tempting. Just finding out how a terrorist spent their days. Whatever he would find could be useful to Bridges later on. If Bridges even cared enough about Higgs to know. 

Although; nothing could prepare Sam for what was coming. He delivered the food just as planned. Before he was able to leave, his curiosity got the better of him. The door was wide open. Of course, he was going to go in. He made sure to be careful with anything that might try to hurt him. The bunker might've seemed empty, but what if some MULE came in, or possibly a remaining Homo Demens follower. 

It turns out that is not the case.

The first thing Sam is met with is– what he could only assume– a thousand photos of himself. Taken in places he thought private. Many are of him at hot springs, one of him entering a private room, oh- and don't forget outside Peter Englert’s bunker. Sam was disgusted by the sight in front of him. He tried making sense of the red string connecting them. The sticky notes with insults towards the porter. None of it seemed to correlate with each other. He moved past the pile of books, not making out any of the titles. not caring for them.

He reached his hand out to one of the fallen photos on the table, only stopping when he saw a dried white substance. Did Higgs– Did he fucking jerk off to photos of him?! What the hell was wrong with this guy? Sam backed away from the photos. He turned to leave. He didn't even want to know what else was in the bunker. As he turned, now facing the door, he saw a body on the little cot in the corner. He must've missed that walking in. The body didn't move, the guy almost looked.. dead? Sam walked slowly to the body, using one of the discarded books to tap whoever must be laying there.

The body seemed to flinch, turning around to reveal himself to be none other than Higgs fucking Monaghan. A smirk showed itself on the terrorist's face. “Sammy! I didn't see you there,” An obvious lie. His tone wasn't serious, another obvious thing. The terrorist slid off the excuse of a bed, slightly dancing his way to Sam. He tried laying a hand on the other's shoulders, earning a jerk away. Higgs pouted. A rough hand slapped its way onto the porter, then the other.

Higgs wanted to make sure Sam couldn't leave. He didn't want to be ignored, not today. His hands ended up snaking around the smaller male. Sam didn't seem to flinch, but God did he want to. A chuckle erupted from the terrorist, enjoying the little freak out he was causing Sam. “C’mon, why aren't you reacting? Aren't you supposed to be scared of this?” No answer. A quiet porter is a _bad_ porter. Higgs brought his right hand up to his mouth, the left now hovering around Sam’s neck. He used his teeth to pull his hand free. The sweat coaxed palm felt cold in the sudden temperature change. Higgs stared at his hand for just a moment, deciding on wiping the sweat away on his pants. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Sam _finally_ spoke.

“An experiment,” Higgs replied.

“Experiment?”

“I wanna know what makes you _tick_ , Sammy boy. And now that I gotcha where I want ya, I think I'll have my fun.”

Higgs brought his bare hand to Sam’s suit, just inches from where his neck was exposed. Playfully, Higgs dragged his hands across the suit. It felt wet in some places, making sure to only glide over those with his gloved hand. Didn't want to ruin another part of his body. Sam tried his hardest not to show his distress, –Couldn't give into that fucking terrorist, he doesn't deserve to get his way– but his heartbeat was quickly picking up. A laugh came from behind him, causing him to hit his elbow into the taller male. “ _Fuck_ –” Higgs started, now holding his stomach as if he was truly hurt by the hit. “Always gotta ruin the fun, why dontcha?”

“I'm tired of your shit, _Higgs_. This isn't funny.”

Higgs seemed to think it was, and he seemed to enjoy the stern tone Sam said his name in. All this seemed to only encourage him to continue his actions from before. His punishment got worse, this time earning a kick in the leg. Sam could tell this was a game to Higgs. It all was. The grin he received was off-putting, creepy even. Higgs crossed his arms, putting on a pouty face he was sure would get proper attention. “You're no fun,” he said, a similar tone to what was expected.

“How are you _alive_ ? _Here_ and not on the beach?” Sam questioned. _Love a guy with a curious mind._

“Fragile should never have dropped the gun,” Higgs answered, hinting at something he would be proud of. Who was he kidding? He was proud of it. Sam only sighed as a response, being able to piece together the context. It didn't even seem to surprise him at this point. “Right... And why did you call me here, for revenge?”

Yet another question Higgs Would answer in half-truths. 

“I _wanted_ the pizza. But god knows how cold that is now.” He replied, moving away from the porter to grab the box filled with food. It wasn't hot, but it wasn't _cold_ by now. Which he could settle for. The truth was he missed Sam. As much as he didn't want to admit it. He missed that punchable, kissable face. Shaking his head, Higgs walked back to his cot in the corner and placed the box next to him. A slice already in his mouth. The cheesy goodness making him forget that Sam was still there. He pretended to choke on the food. “Well, since you're here, grab a slice.” Higgs winked at the other. Sam had to think about it. Think hard about it. The idea didn't seem so bad, at least not yet. He was hesitant. He ended up staring at Higgs for a good minute. Waiting for anything to show the situation would lead to something dangerous if he said no. Or if he said _yes_. 

Nothing. The terrorist didn't seem to want to hurt him in any way. Just wanted to eat. With that, Sam pushed the desk chair over to the cot and grabbed a slice out of the box. _If you can't beat ‘em, join ‘em_ , Sam thought. They sat in silence as they finished the entire thing, together. Sam had nothing to say to the man who not long ago threatened his life. Higgs? Well, he had plenty to say. Always seemed to have. And yet– He stayed silent. What was he to say? ‘Hey, Sam! Remember when we were enemies? I think we should put that behind us!’ He scoffed to himself _as if that would ever happen_ . _Why would Sam like ME? I'm-_

The silence was broken by the quiet sobs of the taller male. Sam looked to face him, seeing streaks of black running down Higgs’ face. A mix of makeup and tears. He didn't know what to do, how to comfort him. What was causing this sudden change in mood? “Higgs?” Sam's voice soft, a tone he could only think of in dreams. Upon receiving no answer, Sam moved from the chair onto the cot. He placed the pizza box on a pile with the rest, reminding himself to help clean all this shit up later. 

“Higgs, what happened?”

Sounds of hyperventilation were his answer. Higgs tried his best to calm himself. To not make an absolute fool of himself. He should've known this would be the outcome. Befriending Sam? Crazy! Even his daddy knew he wouldn't be worth the kind of love he craved. He thought back to the old man who took care of him, _daddy_. Remember daddy's teachings. There's no redemption for Higgs. “ _Higgs_ ,” Sam repeated one last time, finally using that stern voice that got the other's attention way too quickly than it should've.

“I’m sorry,” The words felt foreign on his lips. He was never sorry for anything in his life. In killing daddy, in crossing Fragile, nothing. He was sorry for this. He continued speaking, the words falling out of his mouth without any filter, “It was all her- All Amelie. I was so _weak_ , but she made me strong. She told me there was no point in saving this planet because she's a fucking Extinction Entity. It was inevitable. I got so caught up– So impatient,” He was harsh with his words. A weapon to hurt only him, “I loved her. I wanted to please her. But she chose _you_ . I didn't understand why. I tried understanding,” _And boy did that understanding feel so good_. His eyes shot to the dirty image of Sam laying on the desk. 

“This–! Wow, this was stupid,” A laugh came from Higgs. Something he did to try to hide the fact he was crying. He felt that familiar weakness. He hated it, wanted to rid himself of it. But what could he do? He's lost his DOOMS. Too weak to claim another life, to see if he could regain his powers. “You can leave, Sam. I'm done fillin’ my head with fantasies.”

_After all, I deserve to be alone for things I've done._

Sam seemed baffled. He knew Higgs built walls around him. Everyone has. To see them crashing down around him was another thing. He couldn't forgive him for what's happened. That was currently off the table, even for what he just witnessed. He couldn't leave either. Higgs might've done some shitty things in the past, but Sam knew no one should be alone when feeling shitty themselves. With hesitation, a hand wrapped around Higgs’ shoulder, pulling him closer to Sam. His eyes widened at the sudden movement. So unexpected; uncharacteristic of the Aphenphosmphobic man. 

Higgs ATE it up. He wasn't used to the physical affection the other gave him. It was warm and inviting. He couldn't help but lean into the touch. They both seemed to calm down after a few minutes of embrace. Awkwardness turned into peaceful silence. Sam could tell Higgs had fallen asleep. He slowly moved free from the other, laying Higgs properly onto the cot. He tried moving Higgs' cape to cover his body and keep him warm. As warm as it could possibly get in a bunker. Sam was sure too much time had passed. He had other orders to complete, and orders to be assigned before the day was over.

Yet he didn't want to leave Higgs without any last words. He searched the room for anything to write on, or write with for that matter. There were notes all over the walls written in some marker he couldn't even find. After retrieving a marker and notepad, he wrote down all he thought was important.

> _The pizza was cold as shit. Order another one and we might just get along. If you skip all that ‘seeing what makes me tick’ bullshit. We'll see if you can get touchy-feely sometime in the future._
> 
> \- ‘ Sammy ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! another chapter should be out soon. if you're interested in more things i post, my tumblr is @flxming-son
> 
> you can comment suggestions and i might write them 👀
> 
> (in their own stories, of course)


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